A wee bit overwhelmed

Things are tough.

My family is at what might be described at a crossroads in our lives, although if you ask me, it feels more like we are standing at a cliff with high winds trying it's best to push us over the edge. Either way, we are at a time where things are changing and we will find our selves standing on the other side. I know we will be standing on that other side triumphant. The journey however, seems sometimes as if we will never make it.

Learning we have a child with special needs was easier then I would have thought. The news brought with it a different life then I had pictured, yet not an unpleasing one. It also brought with it 4 therapists twice a month, all giving us important exercises to do with Elles. It brought with it appointments to the hospital, scary things my baby has to go through I don't want her to go through. It hasn't brought easy answers either. We got her blood test back rather quick and it was negative for Angelman's. This doesn't mean she doesn't have it, it means she now needs a more comprehensive test that is expensive and harder to get approved. It also could mean we may never know what is wrong with her exactly.

The economy has hit my family pretty thoroughly. Real Estate agents didn't exactly come out great with the housing market crashing and burning. Ok. My husband is scrappy. He learned a new skill and started working with cabinets. He eventually hooked up with a cabinet refinishing company and became their main guy. They were quickly discovered to be idiots, but it was work and although it frustrated Rob to no end, it was work. When they started to show unethical practices, including not paying my husband for the jobs he did, Rob abruptly cut ties with them. They weren't keeping promises and it was apparent this was a road we did not want to be on. They owe him a lot of money that he earned and are refusing to pay. Rob is suing them for that money and they are stalling and getting a lawyer (For a kind of a simple suit that NO ONE gets lawyers for). They are simply horrible people that don't have the money to pay Rob, so they are doing this instead. Rob had the insight that he is not doing what he wants to do, he knows what he is supposed to do, and that is go back to school.

So this fall, he is going back to school to be a nurse. He is going to get his masters and go into administration. Going to school feels so right to us, we know it is the path we need to take. How we are going to accomplish it exactly is not entirely known to us. He had a job land in his lap, he didn't search for it, it was just kind of offered. It promised a salary, medical benefits, internet, home computer and phones all paid for. We didn't see how it would quite be handled with school, but we figured it would all work out. Rob and I fasted that it would work out and he could do full time work and school and all would be grand. Monday came and the job inexplicably was not his. We took that as an answer. It wouldn't have worked. But it was sure a blow. Our dreams of a salary and benefits were so close and so sweet. Well, we know school is what we are supposed to be doing, so we still know that things will work out.

One way to make it work is we are moving in with Rob's dad. This will have it's challenges, but it feels like exactly where we need to be. Actual moving has been a huge challenge. There is a "roommate" at the house we are to move to that is not proving easy to remove. Half of my house is packed the other half is not. I am stymied until the issue gets resolved and that is not my favorite situation.

All these things have been happening about the last week and a half. Rob and I went to the temple. We've fasted. I've prayed that things will ease up a little. I've prayed a lot that things will get easier and resolve a little and paths and doors will open up. I've informed my Heavenly Father that I am not sure how much more stress and pressure I can handle. As an answer, my dear, sweet, wonderful dad had a heart attack on Saturday. He is in the hospital in Wyoming, and on Sunday we were informed that he is going to need 9 bypasses. NINE? I had no idea that was even possible. He is having open heart surgery today. So I guess my answer is that, yes, I can take more stress and pressure (or at least someone up there thinks I can).

I truly have a testimony that the Lord is mindful of me and my family. I also know that we are on the path we need to be on. What I don't know is when I will feel like I can breathe again. I know all too well that my time frame is not His time frame. I do know my sweet little Scout is having a birthday this week and I need to make it special, no matter what else may be going on around us. She also has her first ballet recital tomorrow.

There, now the blog is up to speed.

With love,
Emily