Another Girl

If you haven't heard the news already I would be very surprised. But we (especially Scout) are very happy to announce that we are having a little girl. What's more, she is looking very healthy and doesn't have a dang thing wrong with her.

Now, when I awaited my ultrasound when I was preggo with Scout, for months I was absolutely consumed with her gender and finding out. It wasn't until the moment before the tech put the stick on my belly that I panicked and a million concerns about the baby's well being flooded my thoughts. Luckily, I only experienced a few seconds of this feeling before seeing her move around and be perfect and healthy and had legs and arms. Well, I am not the happy go lucky woman I once was. This time, I have gone through years worrying about this baby and if it is going to be healthy and normal. It's been magnified since carrying this baby, but I've pretty much worried about yesterday for years.

A funny thing happens when you loose a baby in utero. All of a sudden, people start telling you about every person they had ever met that had a nightmare of a pregnancy. I don't know if it is just what pops into their heads (I know I do it too, it's a total human nature thing). But all I heard were stories about every chromosomal abnormality in the book and plenty of umbilical cord accidents and scary births. Just two months after my loss a woman in my ward I had sat next to just 2 days before she gave birth, died in childbirth following a really rare complication and left I think 7 young children (plus, the poor baby had a huge cyst on her neck -totally unrelated to the mother's complication). What I am trying to say is, pregnancy and birth suddenly became a very scary thing and I couldn't believe that any babies were ever born healthy. Not to mention I was going through blood tests to check for cancer every week to see if my pregnancy had given me cancer (who knew that was even out there?) . Anyway, my condition gave me several golf ball size cysts on my ovaries, then I suffered from infertility, had to go on fertility drugs. All these things together made me doubt my abilities to ever grow a healthy egg into a healthy baby.

This whole pregnancy I've been excited but there has ALWAYS been a little cloud over my head that there could be something wrong. The scare of having another molar pregnancy went away in the first 7 weeks when I got my first ultrasound (Thanks to being "high risk" now I get early ultrasounds). But the baby at that point was only a little bean with a heart. Most of my fears didn't go away though, I was waiting to toss them aside in favor of my 20 week ultrasound when they can really get a look at the bean. Well the time for that came yesterday and let me tell you, I have been a nervous wreck for about a week. Rob was nervous too, he said that he is trying not to get too excited about the baby. I think we were both waiting for the ultrasound before we took a good, deep breath.

Luckily it was at 9 in the morning so I didn't have to be a total wreck all day. I started to relax the minute she put the stick on my belly this time and saw a head, body, two arms and two legs. I am sure I was annoying since every time she said anything I would go, "that's good right??" She did thorough measurements, checked heart chambers, major blood vessels, leg length, arm length, spine, face, this baby got the works -and passed with flying colors, she looked perfect. AND measured 3 days big, so there is a compromise between my two due dates, but they didn't officially move it, but he unofficially did to the 16th. (Small victory.)

She was sitting with her little ankles crossed and was sound asleep the whole time (a drastic contrast to Scout who was moving around so much the tech had a very difficult time doing the measurements). The tech even kept making comments about what an active one I had. Her feet didn't hold still for a second, it was quite funny. Anyway, this one was lazy as could be. The tech was trying to make sure about gender she said she had a good idea, but wasn't sure. So she giggled my stomach quite a bit to get her up and at-em and we got to watch her wake up and she actually yawned. It was very cute to see. Then she moved around and stretched a bit and she finally told us with assurance that we had a little girl. Scout was right there with us watching the screen and I said, "Scout! You're going to have a sister!" And she immediately went into a happy dance. Cutest thing ever. I was so happy for her. After that she was showing us all some ballet moves and really getting into it. She really gets it and is really excited. She kept telling everyone she wanted a sister, I kept telling her that a little brother would be fun too. I don't think she believed me, but I wanted to cover our bases. Well, she was right all along. And, Rob and I couldn't be more thrilled at the miracle that is a healthy baby.
Now, everyone needs to help me talk Rob into the name "Mallory".