Sunday, December 7, 2008

Ransom!



Ok, this post is SHAMEFULLY overdue. Remember the time when B said she hated Neil Young and me and my sisters got all up in arms and the war was on? I vaguely remember someone sending B the severed head of a rubber ducky..........
B did get back at us long ago (we can blame Mose the Amish Ghost for a good fraction of why I haven't posted this yet), but to be fair, he only deserves a fraction. I finally got creative and figured out how to post this despite Mose's best efforts. (in your face Mose!!)

Sometime in July, Matt and B came down to Salt Lake and we all watched a Neil Diamond impersonator concert together. It was on the grass and so I brought some blankets. (I'd insert footage of Scout dancing to Neil right here, but Mose is winning THAT battle). One of the blankets was the beloved "cookie blanket" it is ultra soft and covered with cookies and everyone loves it. I made it for Rob to curl on the couch with a few Christmases ago. After the concert, we went back to Sues and watched Will Ferrell (I think) and true to form, B fell asleep. She fell asleep wrapped in the cookie blanket (she is one of cookie blanket's biggest fans). I didn't want to disturb her (aren't I so so nice?), so I left without it and went home figuring I could get it from Sue sometime in the future. The future came that next week. I believe I was going to give her a cd I made for her of Radiohead as an intro for her to the best band ever, -man I created a masterpiece with that and liked it so much I kept it as a playlist on my itunes and enjoy it from time to time --how's that going by the way Sue?). Anyway, Scout and I were going north to the library, so it all worked out nicely. Except that Sue text me that she couldn't find the blanket in question. That was kind of weird and we were both really stumped until we thought of B........ I KNEW she took it and text her that night and she really acted innocent. There was a second where she seemed a bit fishy, and I called her on that, but I kind of believed her a little bit. Sue and I turned into self proclaimed super detectives by the name of Nancy Drew (Sue) and I was George and I think we named Cath Bess. After some mental sluething in our matching outfits and handbags and kicky heels, we came to two conclusions- 1.) B took it and is lying (in the name of rubber duckies everywhere). or 2.) (I'm sorry B, but it's true) B took it cause she loves it so much, without Matt's knowledge and was up in the attic ala' Bertha Rochester, stroking the cookie blanket in secret.

Well The Case of the Missing Cookie Blanket dragged on for a few weeks until one morning I got a text from Sue wondering if I had looked outside my door yet. I had not as it was only 8:30. I peeked outside and immediately slammed the door and text Sue, "What in the world is that??!!" The sight that greeted me was this:That's not quite right, my doorstep had Timmy with crossed out eyes (black electrical tape) and a small scattering of cookies (my pics are still in my camera and have to stay there until we figure out our computer problem). At Sue's house she was greeted with a ransom note, the above picture and my cookie blanket draped on her scarecrow.

B composed that herself to the tune of a lovely Neil Young song:


So, B did have it, and Nancy and Co. solved the case (with option number one, which is probably for the best, cause option 2 was kind of creepy and we are glad Matt doesn't have that to deal with). Rob didn't think it was fair, cause it was his blanket and I quote, "I don't even like Neil Young!". Poor Timmy, Sue never even noticed he was missing......

Here is the best part of this whole thing. Matt and B drove down to execute this little caper and went to Sue's first, and then down to Orem to drop the goods off at my house. It's 3 in the morning and what do they do now? They can't stay with any of their sisters, we can't know they are in town. SO they go down the street from my house, park at a park and sleep in the car! To make it even funnier, one of the people that live across the street knocked on their window at like 8 in the morning and gave them muffins and juice. Haha! Happy Valley............................

By the way, if you're totally lost by all this read this, start from the bottom post and work your way up.. (hint: there is vital information in the comments).

10 comments:

Sue said...

Yay! You finally did the post about Matt and B's revenge! Too bad you couldn't add the pictures of the scarecrow as Cam and I found it, draped in the cookie blanket, at like 7:00 that morning. I'll never forget that morning. Cam had to work, and he came in the bedroom, I was asleep, and he said "Sue look out the window". I was like "what???" So I got up and peeked out the bedroom window, and there was cookie blanket around the shoulders of our scarecrow! It totally blew my mind! I burst out laughing, Cam was still a bit confused. I immediately sent Matt a text that said "well played sir!".

That whole thing is so dang funny. I still like that we thought there was a chance that B is some sort of weirdo that kept the blanket in the attic and petted it! Bertha Rochester, hahaha! Sorry B! But you are still sort of new to us, and that is where our minds take us!

And for the record, I did kind of notice that my Timmy doll was missing. I just didn't think beyond the initial "hmmmm where did I put Timmy?" The missing cookie blanket totally took over my brain soon after.

Sue said...

There is another funny, but kind of sad part to this whole thing. After it was all over, I told Matt it must have been pretty difficult to get to my backyard. The weekend before, we had reshingled the roof and Cam had cut down a bunch of branches from our tree that were hanging over the roof. And he just tossed them on the side of the house. I felt bad they had to maneuver around those branches in the middle of the night. He said it was hard but he said the worst thing about sneaking in my backyard was that he was afraid he was going to get shot! He said he was seriously afraid we would wake up and shoot him! I thought it was kind of funny, but also a little sad that are little brother would be afraid that his big sister might shoot him! I told him he shouldn't worry about that. If someone was in my backyard I would just call the cops, someone actually in my house that's another story.

By the way, I really liked how you linked the other posts that relate to this one. It was fun to go back and read them and the comments. Still cracks me up that we sent B a severed duck head.

Cat said...

Such a great story!

Marcus and Haley Crook said...

Haha, that is so funny. Very creative, I must say. I'm just confused about all the Mose talk. I don't get it.

Sue said...

I'll explain who Mose it. For the last two months or so pretty much every electronic device Em and Rob own has quit working in one way or another. Everything from their Ipods to the USB ports in their computer. Emily decided that someone somewhere wanted her to be Amish or something. I told her that if there is a ghost in the house, that they tend to mess with electronics. In some of the ghost shows I've watched their cameras or flashlights will suddenly die and they explain that ghosts suck the energy out of them to make them stronger. So I told Em she has a ghost, then we decided it was an Amish ghost, then we named him Mose.

Marcus and Haley Crook said...

Oh my goodness, that is funny. About Mose, not about Em and Rob's things breaking. Ok, that makes a lot more sense! Thanks Sue.

B said...

Best story ever. I just realized how brave/stupid I was. Hehe, putting Neil and Shania in the same category. Rubber duckies everywhere have to fear for their lives because of that comment.

I would also like to say that I am slightly hurt that you thought I had just stolen cookie blanket, but that is pretty funny. I'll have you know I'm not that weird. And as for the comparison with Bertha Rochester... I'll have to let that one slide. You guys haven't had the best luck with sisters in law! Haha, your first sister in law deals drugs, and your second one steals your blankets!!

Sue said...

Em and I had a pretty good laugh picturing you sneaking up in the attic after Matt falls asleep so you can pet the cookie blanket. Em was pretty adament that you weren't some sort of weirdo, but I'd say about 5% of me thought it might be true. Oh man, that makes me laugh. I'll have to go through my myspace messages and find our conversation.

Emily said...

Yeah, uh... sorry about that B. It did amuse us though.

Sue said...

I found mine and Em's cookie blanket conversation we had using myspace messaging, and it is pretty funny. I'm going to copy and paste it below. But I need to explain something first. We have a love of the Nancy Drew series, so we decided to become ND and her friends since we had a mystery to solve. So I (sue) was Nancy, Emily was George and Catherine was Bess. First, Em was coming to Salt Lake July 1st to run some errands and she was going to drop by my work to pick of some things that were left at my house, like the cookie blanket! So I left this comment on June 30th on her myspace: Just call me tomorrow. I'll be at work. I have the cookie blanket, Scout's sunscreen and the Thomas the Train that Matt and B bought her. Was there anything else?

About 3 hours later I wrote this comment. I don’t have the cookie blanket after all! When I wrote that last comment I assumed I did! I really thought it was in the guest room. I hadn’t been in that room since Matt and B left, I figured it was in there. It’s not! I’ve gone over my entire house and I don’t have the cookie blanket! I think I’m going to call my friends, Bess and George, and see if we can solve the mystery of the missing cookie blanket!

Then on July 2nd I wrote this comment: Okay, back to the cookie blanket mystery. We know for sure that we brought that blanket back from the park right? That is the blanket Bronwyn was wrapped up in while we were watching the Dana Carvey SNL DVD, right? I know she had a blanket around her most of Sunday morning too, and I'm almost positive it was that one. I just want to make sure we didn't leave it at the park. A good detective always double checks the facts!

Then on July 3rd I sent Em this message (we switched from comments to messages so B couldn't read them!):
I spent about half an hour going over my house again. I have opened every closet, cupboard, dwarwer (sp?), every nook and cranny of my house! I do not have the cookie blanket! There is no way that blanket is somewhere in my house.

Me, Bess and Ned(Cam) talked about it while Bess was here, and we are convinced B took it. Here is our reasoning:

1-- There is about an hour and a half window that B was in the house alone Sunday. Around 1pm, Matt, Booker and I went to Jeff and Missy's so Matt could buy their son's Playstation. Cam and B stayed home. Cam cleaned the garage the whole time, and B took a shower and packed up. She had the cookie blanket wrapped around her that entire morning, up until the time we left. She was all showered and packed and ready to go when we got back. There were no witnesses, no one saw her pack! They left about 20 minutes after we got back.

2-- She is having a hard time finding revenge on us. Maybe as a last minute idea she thought kidnapping the cookie blanket would be funny. Maybe you should expect some sort of ransom note in the mail. She has really strange ideas at revenge. Remember how hard it was to convince her that naming the spider after Neil Young was nothing but a good thing? She sure thought she had revenge over us with that!

3-- This has nothing to do with revenge or anything. But perhaps she is one of those people that when they really like something, they think it should be theirs? You've mentioned a couple of times how much B likes that blanket, and lays claim to it whenever she is around it. We don't know her all that well. It's a total stretch, and I would really hate to think it of her, but what if she just took it?

I really don't think #3 is the case, but I'm not going to rule it out either. Bottom line is, that blanket was in my house, and now it isn't.

Hannah hasn't seen it either, hee hee.

Sincerely,
Nancy

Emily responded with this message:

Wow! Where did you pull Hannah out of? That took me a minute, but it is Nancy's kindly housekeeper, Hannah Gruen.

You make good points, Nancy. I will rule out number 3 because she lives with Matt and couldn't hide it from him, unless she is some ultra level of crazy and hides it in the attic and goes up there to pet it when she is alone.

I am going to provide you with a transcript of our text messages from yesterday.
July 1, 2008, 10:21 pm
Text messages between B and George:

(8 or 9 messages not provided as they pertain to the Dick Van Dyke Show only)

G: So what do you know about the cookie blanket?

B: I know that it's brown and covered with cookies, why?

G: It's missing- and you were the last to use it

B: Weird. I thought I left it at Sues.

G: Rob says if this is retaliation, it's not fair to take it out on him, he doesn't even like Neil Young

B: Ha ha! That's a good idea, but I don't know what happened to it! Maybe pedro ate it....

G: Pedro didn't eat it! And you're being cagey.

B:I swear I don't know what happened to cookie blanket. But you'd better find it, it goes with my couch!!

G: Hmmmmm not quite as cagey but not fully convinced.

B: I feel like sticking my tongue out at you!

G: Too bad you can't

What do you think........... She was dancing a little huh?

(If Burt saw this, he would die laughing. He thinks I am a nerd.)
And it's spelled "drawer"

My response:

Hannah just suddenly came to me. I knew there was some sort of mother figure in Nancy's life. She had an aunt too, didn't she? Ellen, Elaine? I can't believe you pulled out Burt! I forgot that George and Bess were dating Ned's friends. Who was the other one? Dan?

Anyway, I agree we can rule out #3. It was just brainstorming. I like the idea of her going in the attic and petting it, that is funny. Perhaps Cookie Blanket is B's Bertha Mason. (that one took some real brain searching!)

She does seem to be skirting the issue in the texting. I really think reasons 1 and 2 are it. It has to be. The blanket is not in my house! My animals didn't eat it. Tosh is not the kind of dog that drags things like that out in the yard. (Duncan!) It's a blanket! It's not like it's a little toy that could be under my couch or something. I even looked under the couch cushions in case it got jammed in there.

I really think you are going to get a ransom note in the mail soon.

Drawer, thank you. I have the hardest time with that word! I knew mine wasn't right.

Em's response:

She did have an Aunt, she lived in NYC but I can't come up with her name. But you were close with Dan, it's Dave. I am at a total loss with the Bertha Mason reference.
To me, B's most damning line in the texting is, "weird. I thought I left it at Sues" She thought? That is not the way you answer that question if the idea that the cookie blanket is gone is new to you. Wouldn't an innocent person say, Weird. I left it on the guest bed when I left............." Or something similar. It was just a really strange way to answer my quarry.
and with drawer, it looks like you are trying to spell "dwarf".

My response:

That is a weird way she answered that question. You are exactly right about how an innocent person would answer that. She has it, I have no doubt in my mind. Bess told me yesterday she thinks blankets should be off limits. I guess Cat doesn't like people messing with her blankets. It got us doing this Nancy Drew stuff, and B might be amused by that.

Bertha Mason is Rochester's crazy wife locked in the attic in Jane Eyre.


The cookie blanket conversation pretty much ended there, we got off on a bit of a Jane Eyer tangent. Imagine that! And B, I hope you're not offended by anything that was said! Especially when I think you might just be a weirdo!

Is this the longest comment ever or what?

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