Diamond Rooms, Reverent Raccoons and Dang It

The famed dinosaurs are back. This time they all got owies and needed Spongebob band aids.
She said they got "bites".

I decided that next time Scout said something funny, I would write it down a not post until I saved a few up. So I have a few, plus a few more entries into the "Scoutisms dictionary"

Scout made a little book in nursery called "Reverence Raccoon". She wanted me to read it to her on the way home from church, so I did.
It was about what you would expect it to be, such as being quiet in church, folding your arms, etc. After I read it, I said, "Are you going to be like Reverence Raccoon?"
She said, "No."
We were slightly off put and Rob and I just kind of looked at each other like, well ok- she has spoken. Then I said,
"Why not? It would be very nice to be like Reverence Raccoon." She just stayed silent.
About a minute later she said (with a little world weariness in her voice),
"I'll wear the costume later".
I suppose this was just a little close to Halloween.

Scout struggling with a toy (a little disk that shoots out smaller discs)
"Dang it!"
(Takes a quick glance at me)
"I don't like it when I say 'dang it', it's no good"
About one second later.............
"dang it!"

We had a little discussion about using 'dang it' about a week ago, I just mentioned that I would rather her not use that expression (I'm SURE it flies out of my own mouth in her presence about 15 times a day) so I was expecting this. Anyway the same day about 6 hours later she picked up the same toy, and even before she started playing with it said:

"I don't want to say "dang it" -sorry mom!"

(I didn't say a word! Nor did I even give her a look)

Scoutisms

The diamond room: Dining room. This took a long time for us to figure out. She is talking about the little room as you walk in the house to your right. I couldn't figure out why she would call that the diamond room. It is more of a sitting/TV room, but we do dine there quite a bit since it has a TV. But Rob and I have never referred to it as a dining room, we have one off of the kitchen.

I would like to introduce you all to "Milo and Notice". They do a lot of playing together, mostly in Scout's bathroom sink riding boats.

"Notice" just kills me every time.

My brain died when I started trying to remember Scoutisms. Maybe I can come up with more later, and post them. This was originally going to be a journal of funnies exert, but it turned into more shenanigans.

Emily's Wal-Mart Gripe

I recently made a deceleration that I was never going to Wal-Mart again, and there was some interest as to why. Well, there are several reasons, and this is also a deceleration I have made in the past, but one I would love to finally keep (although I already have plans to go back, but you'll see why below).
So, it really wasn't a big deal, but this was the experience or "straw that was the camel's spinal demise" (or something). So, I looked online for the cheapest way to get my ipod shuffle going again, and Wal-Mart sells a product that was a little shuffle dock for $17 (replacement docks are $30 WHY is that?? You can buy Shuffles now for like 45 bucks. You might as well buy a new one. Rotten Apple people, sorry, didn't have a good ipod week). This product is a little speaker system that also can be plugged into the computer for syncing. I assumed it was available in store since it didn't say otherwise, so Scout and I went and picked up some groceries while we were at it. They didn't have it. They did have a product for "$19" that was a wall charger for assorted electronics including the shuffle. It can be unattached to the wall and plugged into the computer, but I asked the electronics dude if it can sync it too. He looked at it and said that since it has a USB port, that would be possible. So I bought it, and then shopped for some groceries. I went to the self check out line, which I am a pro at. The weights however, wouldn't accommodate my "green bags" (that has never been an issue before) so the lady had to fix that, but it took her forever. Then, when I got to the ipod product, it rung up as $23 dollars, so I went up to her and told her that the shelf said it was 19. I explained it very clearly, but she misunderstood me about 10 times and then when she finally understood what I was saying, blew out this huge sigh and said, "well I can check for you, but it is going to take a long time." I offered to look for myself, but she shooed that suggestion. So she called over another worker who went to check. Scout is getting impatient at this time so, it was getting fairly lame. The girl comes back and says, yeah, these are 23 dollars, she said they were all on the wrong rack. Whatever, I bought it anyway and paid for everything and then we went to the little rides to give Scout her promised car ride. The machine ate the 2 quarters I gave Scout, I put one more in and nothing. So there was a attendant standing behind this desk that looked like the cashier center, it was all official with clip boards and what not. I stood behind this old guy who bought 80 dollars worth of cat food. (I can only imagine why), and I told the girl (who had a tag that said "Manager") and before I even finished my sentence, she shook her head and told me I needed to go to customer service. So I scooped Scout up and went there. I would have just left, but the bean was promised a ride and they had several other machines, and I had no more quarters, so I waited. When it was my turn, they did refund me my 3 quarters. We rode the horsey this time and then went home.
That thing does not sync with itunes, it only charges.

Now I have to go back and exchange it. I called the manufacturer, since I have a new library, so I wasn't sure if I downloaded it right. I will suppress another gripe of mine about how all companies have moved their customer service out of the country and now when you call a company you have to talk to someone with an accent so thick you can't understand each other (not to mention this guy had no idea about what I was talking about, he didn't know the product at all that he was supposed to be "technical support" for and couldn't answer my one simple question). I normally don't have a problem with trying to communicate with someone that speaks a different language from me, I am usually very tolerant, but this situation bugs me that it just reminds me about how jobs are fleeing this country and going over seas in the name of cost. Yes, I do realize that I went looking for a product that was the cheapest I can find. So that is why I am not griping about it (too much). Yes, I am a hypocrite, and I realize it.

So besides the events of this week, I have always hated Wal-Mart and avoid it most of the time.
My reasons are two fold:
1) There is the issue of the fact that I simply always have an unpleasant time there. The times that I have been hit or run down by another shopper and their cart, have ALWAYS occurred there. No one ever apologizes. No one seems happy at Wal-Mart. Everyone is crabby and rude. It's just a bad place.

2) The second reason, (and I like to think this one is the most important reason to me) I don't like how it moves into a town and business that have been around for years, find the competition too fierce and shut down. Many simply can't compete, it's a monster. I happen to like the little shops. I like having a choice as to where to shop. If everyone only shops there, then that is going to be our only choice when we go shopping. They are popping up EVERYWHERE, like 5 blocks from another one. The one that appeared in Sandy, a few years ago, was a giant scandal. No one thought there needed to be another one around there. There were even protests surrounding it's opening. I was very close to joining in on the picketing, but didn't.
I should have, but didn't because of this reason: the demands of my pocketbook and it's convenience win sometimes and I break down and go, abandoning my principles.
They really sell plastic baggies cheaper then anyone else on the planet. And sometimes it is dinnertime and Scout is crabby and I need tortillas and I don't know -thread, and it's either two stops or one stop to the old Wal-Mart, and the pull of that one stop is enough to make me choose that hell-hole. I'm so weak!!
Rob refuses to shop there, but for my first reason, not my second. He says, and I quote "everyone that shops there wears over sized Tasmanian Devil shirts". In fact, he thinks it is a good company to work for and provides it's employees with good benefits and provides people with jobs that otherwise may not get a job elsewhere. That is fine and good, but I don't think the benefits out weigh the crap. They talk about how they "give back to the community" but I heard the statistics once and it was a pittance.
There. That is the majority of my gripe. I could go on, but I am kind of sick of thinking about Wal-Mart.

My Life on Clomid - Month 1

So, I finished my first week on Clomid and I thought I would record my experience. I heard a lot of horror stories about the drug, everyone seems to have different side effects and was anxious to see what my week would bring. Basically, I can sum it up by saying, I pretty much felt like I was hopped up on diet pills. The first day, I felt shaky and jittery and not hungry. That night Scout woke me up at like 4 o'clock for something and when I got back in bed and closed my eyes, I couldn't stop picturing a little man in my head endlessly flipping. He was like doing ferris wheel summersalts the rest of the night. The next day, and the proceeding days, it was just diet pills or caffine pills like and the dizziness quieted some. I have no appetite and totally forget to eat, I feel hungry once in a while, but eat very little when I do. I also have like a brain fog thing where I have trouble concentrating (ie-math in my head- not doing that so well). Basically, I kind have gone stupid. Eh, I imagine it will go away, but I have been off it for 2 days now and still feel the same. Last night I ate an apple right before bed and felt really sick, I totally thought I was going to barf. I was like, ok, since when do apples make you sick??? It only lasted about 20 minutes, I just snapped out of it and was perfectly fine, and even hunted down some m&m's. Kind of like when you are pregnant. Anyway, that was my only stomach complaint, thankfully. Except that I was never hungry, but I'm not going to complain about that.
So, that was month one. All in all, much better then I thought it would be. By the way, I wouldn't complain if it ends up being my only month.

Sorry Art Garfunkel

This didn't happen today, but Rob and I remembered it today and started laughing and Rob asked me if it was in the Journal Of Funnies and I said no, and we agreed I better add it.

Some months back, while I was busily adding cds into my itunes, cds were stacked all around the computer. At the same time, Scout had some little jewel stickers that kind of looked like rhinestone kind of things, I think I had bought them for her quiet book and didn't end up wanting them. They kept cropping up in places and one night while I was elsewhere (work?) I THINK it was Rob who stuck a red rhinestone on Art Garfunkel's nose (it could have been Scout, but I am leaning towards Rob). Anyway he said, "Look Scout! It's Rudolph!" And she goes, "no daddy, that's a clown."This is the album (and picture) it was.

I would really love to photoshop a rhinestone on here so you guys can see exactly how funny this was but I don't currently have photoshop as we just got an updated computer. As it is, this may be a watered down version of a very funny observation by Scout. Oh well, it will always make Rob and I laugh.

The Haunted House

We finally finished the haunted house. Yay! I actually finished it on Sunday and then took pictures on Monday and in the process of doing that, I squished my Ipod to death. It was in my front pocket and I went to lie on the floor and my girth was enough to kill it dead. It froze and then gave me a frowny face. A friend at work told me his does that and he shakes it and it works fine, so I shook it last night and it told me to plug it in, then it started doing stuff and froze again. So maybe there is hope, maybe not. ANYWAY, that distracted me to the point of not posting until today, plus I worked last night and this morning. I still greive for my ipod, but I still have my shuffle, which is great in it's own right, but it isn't a replacment. Ok, this post is about the haunted house.

Here is a closeup of the front stoop. If you open the door, there is a ghost inside. You will hear about those skeletons that mark the entrance in a moment.

Side view. I tried to make it rickety and precarious looking. If you open any shutters, you will find a surprise, and I fixed it up so they glow if we put a pumpkin light in there. I tried to fashion the roof after the Psycho house. The fence I made out of skeleton parts maybe turned out a little morbid, but eh. Nothing that bothers me much, nor Scout, but she is a skeleton freak. Anyway, it's kind of fun and should be around for many Halloweens to come.

Some haunted house making shenanagans:

These were Scout's favorite toy for about 4 days. She called them "the giraffes". There were better pics of her holding them, but her face in this one made me laugh so much, I had to use it, so I included a better pic of them below:
Anyway, the giraffes were so funny. They had many adventures, she made them little beds on the roof of the house and they slept there. They talked to all the little creatures in the house, the bats, cats and pumpkins in the windows and called them collectively "spooky things". When she addressed them she would say, "spooky things? Do you want some candy?" Then she would pass out candy corns to everyone (put them outside their windows), and frequently make sure they were all having a good time. The giraffes even got treated to a hippo ride:

She is a hoot.
I had to glue them to the house late at night after she was in bed, because they were always with her otherwise. I don't think she has noticed they are on the house yet.

The Cow That Won't Die

This is a toy cow of Scout's purchased this last spring at the $1 area of target. It was a toy she earned for completing a line of stickers on her potty chart. See that little orange thing on it's belly? If you press it, the cow "moos". Cute huh? Well, something is wrong with this cow.
It all started when it was only about a month old. The cow became a member of the animal brigade that spent a lot of time out on the front porch in mommy's blueberry planter this summer. Scout would put the hose up on top and the animals would swim and frolic in the water and waterfall. I reminded her many times that this cow should not get wet or it won't moo anymore. Somehow it sneaked into that menagerie and not only got wet, it sat immersed in a bowl of water outside for AT LEAST 2 weeks, probably 3, with a few fellow animals.
I shrugged my shoulders at that point and figured, well, she will learn a little lesson about how right mommy is when the cow doesn't moo anymore, and it was only a dollar anyway. What I thought was the end of the moos was really only the beginning.
After weeks of silence, right after we moved into our new house, we started hearing mooing. Scout found the cow in a box and played with it in the living room. That night from upstairs in our bedroom, we could hear the cow going nuts downstairs. Moo moo moo all night. It kept waking me up. Finally, I slept all night and thought no more of the cow. That next day, I was outside and I found the cow out on the front lawn. I laughed and deduced (my deductions were later found to be correct) that Rob must have grown tired of it during the night and tossed it out the front door. I brought the now silent cow inside thinking to ask Rob about it later. I forgot, and a few days later heard mooing again. Then no mooing. I finally remembered to ask Rob about it and he admitted to throwing it outside and then told me that he has since wrapped it up in something and stuffed it somewhere and he doesn't remember where. All we knew is, the mooing was gone and there was peace.
Well, we have some boxes in the basement that I am sorry to say, have not been unpacked since Shadowridge (over two years ago) it is random stuff (papers, books, old mail, movies, candles, etc.) that have been riffled through, but pretty much just moved from place to place with us. I would like to think a lot of people have such boxes and we are not the horrible people I think we are. Anyway, I have attacked these boxes with gusto this week. Organizing the stuff in them and throwing stuff away and also putting some of it away. (I need bookshelves!!!) Guess what I found wrapped in some of Scout's old clothing? Yeppers, I found the cow. Scout played with it while we were down there, along with some other toys she has outgrown. We went upstairs and went about our business. Business that became peppered with sad little moos from downstairs. I can only conclude from this that for 0ver 2 months this cow has been muffly mooing in it's box prison in the basement. Since freeing it, I bet we get a good ten moos a day. It has slowed down from about 40 a day. But we still get moos during dinner, moos at night. We have come to giving each other a little smile when we hear it.
I think at this point, we are more curious then anything about this cow. How can we throw it away? At what point is it going to moo it' s final moo? What kind of powers are at work with this cow? Should we send it into Motorolla or Apple so they can see how this is accomplished since $200 phones and Ipods seem to die if they just look at water. While writing this blog when I downloaded the picture, I did two of them to see which looked better on the blog and when I made my choice, I tried to delete the picture and it would not delete or cut. I tried everything and finally had to go into edit Html and manually erase the code to the pic. Seriously, there is something wrong with this cow...........

Inwhich We Discover That Daddy Polar Bears are Much Like Scout's Daddy

Scout - 3

Today, Scout and I were watching Planet Earth (Ice World one) and we were watching that heartbreaking story where the father polar bear goes seal hunting for his starving family (and winds up stabbed by a walrus --nature is a mean, mean mistress). Luckily, Scout doesn't process all of these facts yet.
Anyway, the daddy polar bear is swimming in the ocean on his way, and Scout says, "mama polar bear is going to get some food"
I said, "actually, that is daddy polar bear."
So Scout says, "Oh, daddy polar bear is going to get some chicken and fries?"

Chicken and fries is about the only food Rob provides for Scout on the one day a week I am working.