Friday, October 21, 2011
Lollipops and Crisps
Monday, September 26, 2011
Potpourri (or a little Scout, a little Elles and a little Radiohead)
| taken on Saturday morning, being a black footed ferret |
Radiohead:
Thom Yorke announced that they are going to be TOURING next year. Rumors about a tour have been circulating for a few months and taunting me, but I haven't allowed myself to believe it. Having Thom say it in so many words this week cinched it for me. HOLY CRAP!!!! I am going. There is no way they are coming to Salt Lake, so Matt, B, Cat?, Rob......pack your bags kids. We're going-- this is your chance to see Emily hyperventilate, have a heart attack, faint, or any combo of the three (I wouldn't be surprised if they came to Denver or Vegas, but we may have to go to California). I am not missing it this time if I have to go without food for a month. 2012 is also seeing my parent's 50th wedding anniversary which the family is going to celebrate in Mexico in August. So I am thinking that 2012 is going to be EPIC as long as the 2012 Mayan thing doesn't pan out- if it does, that would make it epic too I guess, but the end of the world is not allowed to happen until Emily sees Radiohead live.
Also, this has been a grand Radiohead week, they performed on the season premier of SNL on Saturday and tonight they are going to be on a Cobert Report Special. Good, good times.
"Prepare yourselves Radiohead, you're about to meet television face"
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Exhaustion
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The MRI
Well, Elle had an MRI on Friday morning. Since we have been getting negative test results with the genetic testing, Dr. Carey thought it was time to rule anything out that might be found on an MRI. Which mostly would be structure problems, brain damage, or even a tumor or something. I knew months ago that getting an MRI was a possibility and I have been dreading it. It did indeed prove to be hard and scarey, but like everything else, we all got through it together and are grateful it's done.
Luckily, Matt and B happened to be down here staying with us (they went to a Bright Eyes concert the night before), so they were able to be home with Scout during the procedure. We had to be there at 6:30 in the morning! That meant we had to get up at 5:15 to make it up there. We did it early because she had to be sedated fully and therefore needed to fast, so they schedule the littlest ones early. This turned out not to be an issue. I fed her later then usual the night before and was able to give her a bottle up until midnight, so I gave her one around 10 and she never needed one after that (which is usual), so that all worked out great.
She slept the whole way there and woke up at the hospital. We had to register and check in and the place was totally empty except one nurse, one receptionist and a night watchman. The nurse did Elle's vitals and all of that stuff then we had to wait for another nurse to get there to start an IV. Elles was pretty cute. Then a little after 7 they put the IV in her hand (she hated that!) She doesn't like her hands restricted or held most the time cause those little hands have their own agenda which usually involves being up in the air and fingers clenching into fists. So taking her hand and putting it behind daddy's back was not too cool with her. Then they had the nerve to stick it with a needle and then wrap it up in bumble bee bandages. The nurse choose bumblebees cause she was wearing a smock with little smiling bees on it and Elinor loved it and kept leaning in to get closer looks. That was sweet of her. They gave her regular fluids for a while and she got pretty cranky. We had to do that and wait another half hour or so. I took her for that and rocked her and sang a few songs that did nothing to make her any happier of her treatment thus far. So I pulled out the big guns and sang C is for Cookie, complete with my terrible Cookie Monster impression, even though the door was open and I had an audience out there of 2 or 3. Anything for my sweet girl, especially cause that one works every time and I got a few smiles for my efforts.
Then we moved into the MRI room and they injected her hand with the sedative. She fought it. She was moving around, closed her eyes, cried a little. Got quiet, cried a little, moved around, etc. It took a few minutes for it to knock her out enough. Then came the hard part. I had to give my sleeping little girl to the nurse and watch her get carried to that big scarey machine, get hooked up to oxygen, heart monitors, and strapped to the table. I thought it was sweet that they kept Kiki with her and covered her with it. Then we had to leave. I couldn't bring myself to take a picture of her on the MRI table from the doorway (we weren't allowed in the room). Even though I can't imagine that I will ever be able to forget that image, we all don't need a picture of it.
We were sent to the recovery room where we paced (or should I say "I", Rob sat down. I'm the pacer). I was glad I didn't have kiki with me, it would have been too sad to hold it while Elles was in there. We discussed how hard it must be for parents that have to go through their babies having things like heart surgeries and stuff, cause this was hard enough. My heart goes out to parents that have to go through that kind of thing, I can't imagine.
We were told it would take about a half hour. I started doing fussy little things like clean the outside of the diaper bag and straighten the sheet of the gurney she was going to occupy. That's what I do when I'm nervous: pace and fuss around. We were worried about the actual procedure and also what the results would be. Nerve-racking! It ended up taking almost an hour (I stopped myself from cleaning this little portion of a wall divider next to me that had some sort of little spill on it- although I couldn't stop thinking about cleaning it and wanted to soo bad). I thought that was crossing the line into "crazy", but I think about that spot today and wonder if anyone has cleaned it. What a relief it was to see the nurse bring our little girl into the room, holding a wiggly little Elles. I asked if she was awake already and the nurse laughed and said, "well, her eyes are still closed". She gave her to me and she didn't open her eyes, but calmed down and fell back asleep. After a while I laid her on the bed cause she has always slept better lying down, spread out, rather then in arms. I wanted her to rest as much as possible. The nurse wanted to let her sleep for about 45 minutes then we were going to wake her up and let her drink a bottle and if all was good, go home.

45 minutes later, we all did our best to wake her up. Not easy. She finally opened her eyes and tried to focus, but didn't have much luck. After a while (and a visit from the sedative specialist to check sleeping beauty out), we were cleared to go. She wouldn't have anything to do with the milk or the apple juice, and promptly fell asleep when put in her car seat. We were given discharge instructions and a paper listing things to watch for today, told she would probably be cranky today, but a nap would help that. She slept all the way home (with mommy watching her belly for breathing as instructed). She slept on the couch when we got home to Scout, Matt and B. Rob's fishing buddy called and it was his birthday and wanted Rob to fish with him. We thought that would be ok, even though the spot was a couple hours away. Elles was doing ok and Matt and B were around. Elinor finally woke up and was having trouble holding her head up and focusing, and she was making these shortened little yells and various weird sounds, but she drank a couple ounces of juice. Then it was back to sleep. Good, cause she was a little cranky. She woke up a little later and seemed to be up for good. I fed her some food and then put her in her Jumparoo thinking she had wiggles to get out. She snacked in there and mommy tried to rest a little. Rest is hard when Scout comes in as Bowser every minute or two and Elles is in the living room jumping and making her weird yips and noises that sound like general little protests of some sort. I finally took her out and she drank a bottle and I thought she looked a little tired still, so I put her in her crib. She slept for another hour or so, mommy gave up on napping and Bowser played.
Then we had Bobble head Elles again. Then she choked on some apple juice and puked on mommy, then hung out for a little while. Around this time, a little neighbor came over and asked if Scout could come over to play. YES SHE MAY! Then I decided Elles should go in her crib for a little bit to play. She pulled all the characters off her mobile, pulled off the round things the character's hang from, drank two bottles and finally nested in and fell asleep again. B and I used this time to watch the first episode of Sherlock. Shortly afterwards, B was hooked.
It was getting to be dinner time, daddy was expected any minute and grandpa thought we should order pizza. So Matt got pizza, I got Scout, we ate, no Rob, Elles slept. Matt and B had to drive to Ogden to pick up his cameras (long story), and I decided to lay down for a while. I started thinking about Elles and missing her, so I brought her in with me on the bed. She was totally knocked out. We cuddled and I watched a few shows and she didn't stir. I started thinking about how she had been awake for about and hour and a half total that day and decided to nudge her awake. She would not stir. Didn't even stretch (this is odd, she always stretches immediately when she is disturbed while sleeping). So I worked a little harder at it and got minimal response. So I thought I would check out her discharge sheet and go over it- just to be cautious. It said that child may be drowsy that day, but easy to wake up. Another part said that if you can't wake your child up, to call 911. I decided perhaps I should double up my efforts on the Wake Up Patrol. I walked her around but couldn't get her to open her eyes. Dale (my father in law) came upstairs at this point and I told him what was going on. We took her outside and after a few minutes got her to crack her eyes open. She wouldn't focus and kept wanting to just close them again. She at least had her eyes open (which was good, cause I was a few minutes away from calling the ambulance). Dale suggested that I give her a bath. Good idea, so I did and at first she just relaxed and tried to sleep in the water (she was in her safety seat), I poured a cup of cold water over her head and she barely protested, but seemed a little more alert and started playing with the toy in front of her. Scout asked if she could try, so I let her pour a little cold water over her head. This time, we got a welcome (for me anyway) gasp of shock and I hurried and poured warm water over it and we seemed to have our little little back for the most part (+ bobble head though). We had come to accept bobble head Elles as part of the family at that point, so no big deal there.
She finished her bath, got some new dunglees on, and Scout went to bed. Still no daddy. I did notice a missed call from him however, having come in around 4:30. He said that the guy had driven further then expected and that his phone was about to die. Lovely. Elles stayed up for a while, but started rubbing her eyes again. I was exhausted, so I put her in her crib. She had another bottle and just kind of hung out. It was after ten and Matt and B came home. We all went in to see Elles and I told them about my evening and we discussed Elle's beautiful spirit that makes her so inviting to be around. You can't help but feel good being around her. She truly has a special little aura around her. I then expressed my tiredness and how even all that went on tonight, I sure hope she sleeps all night. With all the sleeping during the day, my secret fear was that she was going to wake up at 2 with a major case of Elly Beans and be up the rest of the night. Matt and B had a wedding the next day and turned in.
I started getting a little miffed that Rob was still gone. My miffiness turned into worry around 11 and I didn't like that cause I didn't want to be worried about someone I was mad at. He came in sometime after 11 looking about as mad at the situation as I was. I was determined to get my point across and he heard about the day and felt bad. But he already felt bad cause he was not planning on being gone that long. I know he didn't, and heard his story about how the guy drove like 3 hours longer then Rob thought he would and he felt really helpless, it being his birthday and all and Rob was a hostage in his car. Lesson learned. No fishing on such days unless it is one of the local spots and you have control over how far and long you go and your cell phone is charged up nicely.
Elles fell asleep about 11:45 and I planned on checking on her about every two hours and laid down in my bed. Next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and it was light outside. I flew into Tiny E's room and there she was, sleeping peacefully. I touched her hand and it twitched and she stretched and went on sleeping. I smiled and took that as a sign that all was ok. I can't believe we both zonked out all night! That was the last thing I expected. She woke up later in the morning with the twinkle back in her eyes and we were sans bobble head. I missed that sparkle that was missing the day before. The little yips were gone too. My Ellesies was back and WELL rested. It was great. Missed that girl. Sleepy, yippy Elle had her charm too though, but I was ok with leaving that day behind.
The weekend had her coughing a lot and puking a little. Not sure if that was all related, but it's gone now. I got a call with her results Monday morning, and they came back as normal. Brain scan and a chemical analysis of her brain both normal. That means "more genetic testing is recommended". Relived about that. I was once again relieved that we are not looking at brain damage, as said before, it feels better to know that she is suffering from something that is in her genes and she was meant to have this since she was a little egg. It is easier for me to deal with mentally this way.
Wow that was lengthy. Sorry. I kind of wanted to record the day though.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
A fast for the little little
(I posted this note on facebook tonight, and thought I would post it on here also, just to get it out there as much as possible.)
We have decided to have a group fast for our sweet little Elinor this Sunday (August 7th). We love this little girl so much and think it appropriate to have anyone that is interested, come together and fast and pray in her name. She is currently going through testing right now and we are anxious to find out what these tests will tell us. Getting a diagnosis is proving to be a long road, and we are really hoping to get answers- we are getting to kind of a critical time in this process (different directions to go, etc.)
If you don't fast (or even know what that is) and would still like to participate, we invite you to say a prayer in her name that day. Even if you don't pray and would like to participate, you could meditate or send thoughts and good vibes her way. We are spiritual people and believe in the power of a group of people sending prayers and energy in the name of someone they care about.
We couldn't adore this little girl more, and we feel so lucky and humbled to have been chosen to be her parents. We are prepared to be at peace and accept whatever life is going to hold for her. We also know that the Lord says that we need to ask, so that is what we are doing. We ask that Elinor may reach her full potential in this life and be the best she can be. That she has the opportunity to shine and teach us what she is here to teach us. That her little mind and body can work together to accomplish great things. As her mother, I feel a peace when I am with her, that makes me want to hold and cuddle her forever to maintain that feeling. I want that to last our whole lives. As her teacher, I need to know the things I need to teach her and the persistence and the fortitude to do it. I need to understand her and listen to what she needs me to know. That Scout may be blessed with the continued maturity to be the big sister Elle needs her to be. It is these things we are praying for, including a miracle (if that is in store for her), for we believe in those too.
We know that whatever happens, things will work out how they are supposed to, we have a lot of faith in that. Thanks for your time and support, and thank you for loving our little E, I know she is pretty easy to love, but it still fills my heart when I see the evidence of the love from those around her. It means a lot to me.
I am attaching all the comments from the facebook note here (I wanted them on my blog where I can see them instead of buried on a facebook note). It also became kind of the place where I posted a few updates from Elle's doctor.
I also included the original pictures on the note (when I pasted the note to my blog, I was on the notebook- so didn't have access to all the pics on my pc. Turns out, you can copy and paste pictures right from facebook notes to blogger. I'll have to file that away as useful information for the future.)
Susan Wright Rydman, Amy Zussy Modracek, Erin CampoBasso and 5 others like this.
- Rachel Hill Count me in- I believe in the power if prayer, and especially the power of fasting! And whenever I have held your daughter, I feel a great peace and a deep level of spiritual communication with her- she is more than meets the eye! Love to you and your sweet girls!!!August 3 at 12:55am ·
- Wendy Johnson Roberts Our thoughts will be with you. With a loving Mom like you, and a loving family both immediate and extended, I know she already has a miracle. She could not ask for a better situation for getting the support she needs. She will do very well!August 3 at 1:51am ·
- Benedicte Chung I'll join in prayer from across the Atlantic on Sunday. E just looks PERFECT, and so loveable as you say...and also so much like Scout! I love your note, as always. a truly wonderful and super strong Mum you are xxxAugust 3 at 4:35am ·
- Rachel Kelley Conditt Your girls are beautiful, Emily and so is your heart. I will definitely say some prayers!August 3 at 6:39am ·
- Beth Croasdaile Adorable pictures! Your girls have amazing eyes and hearts! I'll be praying for you all.August 3 at 7:02am ·
- Megan Scott Richardson thank you so much for giving us this opportunity to help!! love to you all!August 3 at 8:32am ·
- Amy Wright Phister Love and prayers, as always, from us. Your strength, attitude, and love is truly inspiring, Em. We love your family so much.August 3 at 9:48am ·
- Erin CampoBasso Many prayers headed your way!! Thinking of you all and sending lots of love xoAugust 3 at 10:00am ·
- Emily Wright Pugh I am amazed at the outpouring of love and support! Thanks so much everyone, bless you all.August 3 at 12:21pm ·
- Laura Chatterton Chaffin We are here for you all the way from the West Coast! Anything in the world you need you let us know.August 3 at 1:07pm ·
- Jeanine Walton I am sending you love and prayers! Please call me if u need to talk medical stuff! Love u guys!August 3 at 11:00pm ·
- Lorri Hubbard Wotherspoon The Wotherspoons are in and sending love and good wishes from T-town.Thursday at 8:12pm ·
- Emily Wright Pugh Colin Farrell was on David Letterman tonight and talked pretty extensively about his son with Angelman's Syndrome. Pretty cool! Kind of wish that Colin Farrell wasn't the celebrity that has a son with the same condition they think my daughter has. That means I have to dislike him less. (He did a quick imitation of h is son that look remarkably like Elinor! It was really funny.)Thursday at 11:16pm ·
- Jeanine Walton Wow Em, Angelman's! When will u know for sure? There is varying degrees so I know she will get best care and has the greatest parents and family. I will totally be there for you and my resources at my hospital:-)Thursday at 11:33pm ·
- Emily Wright PughI'm not sure- she had a simple Angleman's test (that detects like 80% of the cases) and it was negative. Then he did some other test that we thought was a complete gene sequence, but it must not have been because what ever test he just did, that came back as normal. We got the test results from the lab, so they had no information except the actual result, so Rob called Dr. Carey and left a message. He called back the next day while Rob was in the shower (ARG!) so he left a message and explained that he recommends a complete gene sequence now, and is going to talk to her neurologist about doing an MRI too. That was two days ago and he said he would try calling again to explain more fully and we haven't heard from him yet.Friday at 12:18pm ·
- Emily Wright Pugh Rett is the only other thing he seems to be even considering right now. Angelman's fits much better to all of us though.Friday at 12:19pm ·
- Jennifer Peddy Berg Oh my.....lil E looks so much like younger Scout...and they both look so much like you. Beauties!! I will definitely send some positive thoughts to lil E. Stay strong sweetie - you are an amazing mom to an amazing little girl.Friday at 8:00pm ·
- Emily Wright PughDr. Carey called today and it looks like we will be scheduling an MRI for her on Monday. I am also grudgingly giving the possibility of her having Rett more weight. She definitely doesn't have classic Rett if she does have it, it would be a variation. Also, she has had two different Angelman tests as of now- one that catches 70% of the cases and one that catches 80% of the cases. If she has Angelmans at this point, it would be a mild case. After the MRI, and depending on the findings, we will be doing a complete gene sequence on the genes that affect Angelman's and Rett. We were also reminded a few times that we still may not have a diagnosis after all this is done. So that is the update. Kind of unsettled, but doing ok. We went to a pool party this evening and Elle had a fabulous time splashing around, she absolutely loved it. It was a nice end to a uncharacteristically grumpy day for her.Friday at 10:25pm ·
- Benedicte Chung Em - this is really unsettling and you are dealing with it remarkably well. I have just looked up the 2 syndromes - I really hope you get more certainty and a diagnosis soon. In the meatime, prayers tomorrow, MRI on Monday, and lots of strength to you and Rob. Thinking of you lots, Love you xxxxYesterday at 3:29am ·
- Susan Wright RydmanWe are in for the fast/prayers thing Em. Cam's family is also in. Lot's of love and support going out to you this weekend. I am so impressed with how strong you and Rob are in dealing with this. I The thing I'm going to focus on most this weekend, is just getting a firm diagnosis. Whatever that diagnosis is, we can move on from there. Ellse is such a sweet, wonderful, loving, beautiful little girl, we are all lucky to have her in our lives. I can't wait to go to the new Muppet movie with her in November. We are going to take her, right?18 hours ago ·
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Ellesabubs
It has been a while since I did any update on Elles, so I thought I'd just write a little up. First and foremost, I think I mentioned the results of her Angelman's test on a random post, but not on an official Elle update post. She got a negative and this was disappointing because we are at peace with Angelmans and we like the thought of a diagnosis, which we can concentrate on and move forward with. Also, lets face it- we have accepted that she is severely delayed and will be so her whole life and when it comes to disorders that are in this wheelhouse, having the one that is marked by being a happy person sounds pretty good.We didn't like the fact that it was negative also because that means more testing, more waiting for insurance approval, and possible MRI's, etc. The neurologist immediately called to get an MRI scheduled. Elle's pediatrician called and expressed his surprise that the test was negative for one basic reason: he says that when Dr. Carey sees a patient and makes a call on what he suspects- he is almost always right. Dr. Wise (Elle's pediatrician) told me that Dr. Carey is the smartest man he has ever met in his life.
(Let me just stop for a minute and express my gratitude that Dr. Carey was assigned Elle's case. Rob and I felt instantly upon meeting with him that he was a doctor we were going to like and was going to help us. He listened really respectfully to us (even complimented us several times on our questions), he carefully explained everything he was talking about to us in a way we could understand (well, as well as a layman can understand genetics), he also was so cute with Elinor and got a kick out of her Sesame Street stuff (including the fact that her diaper was Sesame Street themed). Anyway, we really liked him right away and were surprised to walk out of that appointment with a tentative diagnosis. This is him by the way. Before reading that I had no idea he is the Editor-in-Chief of The American Journal of Medical Genetics. Very cool and I think that no one could dispute that Elle's care is in just about the best hands possible.)
Anyway, when I was talking to Dr. Wise, he told me that the next step would be genetic sequencing and that is really hard to get approved by insurance. He suggested another Dr at U of U Med Center that does research and we might be able to get him to do this on Elles as research and he supplies genetic counseling and stuff like that. That sounded pretty good, so he said he would contact him. I got a call from him that next day and he got our insurance info and was going to call them and see what he could get approved, and he would look over Elle's case and what I read between the lines was he would see if insurance would cover his costs and if not, see if Elle's case was interesting enough for him to use some of his research money on. That's fine, but upon hearing this, Rob started getting nervous that too many people were pestering our insurance and they were going to shut anything else down cause too many avenues are happening (we had gotten the news that insurance approved the MRI we weren't even sold on wanting). Rob called Dr. Carey's office himself and left a message. He and I totally agree, that out of all the doctors that has seen Elle, Carey is the one we trust the most to have the best plan for her and we thought he should be informed on anything happening to her and get his opinion on what's best. Dr. Carey returned Rob's call the next day, and agreed with him that insurance could do exactly what Rob feared. Then he gave Rob the surprising news that he had gotten approval for everything he wanted to do. Remember when we were waiting and waiting for approval for the Angelman's test and it took forever? Well, it turned out that Dr. Carey had laid out his total plan for Elles to them and gotten the whole thing approved! (kind of a: I am going to do this, and if it comes back negative, then I want to do this, and if that doesn't work, we'll do this.......) I was blown away!
He went on to explain that we got really lucky with the insurance we chose (we had two choices when it came to the kids and I happen to choose the one that ever approves that sequence test) the other one never does. The one I chose is the less popular one too (by far). So anyway, that was a major blessing. The news got even better when Dr. Carey told Rob that they had enough blood left over from Elle's vial to do the sequence right away, so we didn't even have to take her in again to get blood drawn. We are all happy about that. So, we are I think about 3 or 4 weeks into that test and haven't heard anything, but we will let you know when we do. This test will map out Angelman's if it's there and most other genetic abnormalities whatever they may be. Dr. Carey also told Rob that she could just be diagnosed with being "Angelman Like" which is an actual diagnoses. Like if she isn't found to have anything specific, but her symptoms match Angelman's the most, you can be called Angelman Like and that is what you have. I think I could live with that.
As far as therapy goes, we have had some slow progress this summer. With summer plans and moving, we have had few appointments and haven't worked real hard on her exercises. We have worked some though and she is doing good. We are noticing less hand clenching and her little thumbs are looking better because of it. Not only are her thumbs looking better, but she seems to grasp toys better and is eating more with her left hand. She also is starting to grasp for toys with both hands at the same time which is great news.
She also got some new wheels:


This one fits her so much better. It is a trick getting her in this contraption, but once she is in there, it fits well and holds her well and she likes it. In the past few weeks, she has gotten really deft at going backwards in it. She has caught on that she can move backwards and she does it really well. We haven't seen Betsy since, but I know she will be pleased because just the fact that Elle recognizes that she can get places in her walker is a great step (even if backwards isn't ideal, it should lead to forwards eventually).
Well, that's good for now. She continues to be a joy in our lives and the best little snuggle monster there is. We all just love this little girl!






